The Ring of Fire
09 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Discussion Tags: sprit;counselling;group therapy;self-talk
At “The Awakening” workshop (Clearmind International) I underwent an exercise called the “Ring of Fire”. Sound scary? Apparently it was…I just thought everyone lived this way.
First, I was asked by the facilitators to pretend that I was talking to myself using my “Critical Inner Voice”. I stood up and faced the chair I was sitting in then started to speak. I wasn’t prepared for the deluge of verbal diarrhea that exploded from my mouth – “You’re not worthy!”, “You’re stupid!”, “You should be dead!” – and those were the “lighter” versions of my self-talk.
Next, we created the “Ring of Fire”: a facilitator accompanies me into the ring, a dozen people formed a circle around us, with two key people acting as the “gate”; another dozen people were positioned outside this circle, acting as my cheer-leaders; and my partner, whom I had chosen through an intuitive process to help guide me through all of these exercises, stood about four feet outside the gate ready to cheer me on, help me break through the gate, and claim victory. She was my angel-in-waiting.
I still wasn’t sure what I’d gotten myself into. All of a sudden everyone started yelling. It was total chaos! At first I was confused, then I realized that the people in the ring were hurling my own insults back at me. I actually wanted to hear what they were saying! I strained to understand each and everyone one of them as the facilitator slowly turned me to face each one. They looked angry and yelled at the top of their voices. Somewhere in the distance people were cheering me on – I really didn’t hear them…kind of like my real life.
At the signal, I was supposed to fight back with positive affirmations for myself, then physically break through the gate, and reach my process-partner. I was given the go-ahead to start affirming but I couldn’t pick out an insult to turn-around because I was overwhelmed…kind of like my real life. I started with, “I am worthy!” and “I am deserving!”, then I heard “You should be dead!” I’d really struggled with this one for decades. I had fought with this demon so many times, and given in, that I decided there-and-then to banish this foe once-and-for-all. I started screaming, “I DESERVE TO LIVE!” and I couldn’t stop. Somehow I managed to fight back, fight through, and find my way to the arms of my angel-in-waiting. Realizing that I had won a significant battle, not with others but with myself, I folded into my angel’s arms, racked with sobs, tears streaming down my face. What had I done? I wasn’t even sure. But this much I knew: I had taken a step closer to my soul.
