Thorns

03 Nov 2011 2 Comments

by Tin Can in Discussion Tags: Course in Miracles, spirituality

I feel kinda emotionally numb right now. It’s relatively difficult to get in touch with my feelings as they “truly are”. I really have to dig deep to connect to my true self — too many layers of bullshit on the surface.

“Are we really happy with this lonely game we play. Looking for the right words to say. Searching but not finding. Understanding anyway. We’re lost in this masquerade.”  ~Leon Russell (performed by Helen Reddy, The Carpenter, George Benson, and others)

What do I feel? There is irritation about the way my friend demanded that I go to a comedy club just because her birthday’s coming up, like “I owe her”, or something.
You pass judgement. You see your ”sister” with eyes of thorns. She is innocent, as are you.
It’s just that I hate being told what to do!
Why?
Because I do it!
Then whose ‘upset’ is that?
Mine. Yes, I get it! I hate myself for giving-in then project it onto the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah…
So peace moves just one step out of your grasp.
Yeah. I feel like my life is not my own.
It isn’t. Life contains all, not the individual ego. So whom do you do chose as your master?
Well, God, of course!
But if you hate yourself — if you give yourself a crown of thorns?
…then I move away from God.
Yes. You place ‘upset’ on the altar. To whom do you make this offering?
Ego and egoic beliefs.
Yes.
Why do I hate?
Because you were taught to. The emotional poison is passed down generation by generation in mitote — obscuring the truth (as Don Miguel Ruiz wrote).
How does the fog lift?
Only when the ‘Son’ (of God) shines.

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